Many people say that accountants have no sense of humor.. Well I beg to differ! Here are a few of my favorite accounting jokes, enjoy!
Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
An IRS agent is walking through Brackenridge Park when a mugger jumps out and yells “Give me all your money!”. The IRS agent says, “You can’t do this after all I work for the IRS.” At which point, the mugger yells: “OK, give me all MY money!”
A lady goes to the doctor and the doctor breaks the news to her that she only has 3 months to live. The lady says, “Doctor, what can I do?”. The doctor responds “Marry a CPA.” The dying woman is shocked and says “What good will that do?”. The doctor laughs and tells her “Nothing, but at least it will seem like a lifetime.”
How do you know your son is going to be a CPA?
When you read him the story of Cinderella and you get to the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, he asks you “Daddy, is that ordinary income or a capital gain?”
How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
You Might Be An Accountant If…
- You deduct Ex-lax as “moving expenses”
- You have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store
- Your idea of thrashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card
- You are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year
- You decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline
What is a CPA’s best pickup line?
Wow, you have a nice pair of W2s.
How does a CPA say the F-word?
What is the definition of an economist?
Someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.
Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don’t understand.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
Why do accountants make great lovers?
They’re great with figures.
Accountants Best Defense:
We’re not boring people. We just get excited over boring things.
What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after them.
If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep what does she say?
Darling, tell me about your work.
How do you know you have an unethical CPA?
You hear him on the phone saying, “Sure, Mr. Madoff, I am glad to do that for you.”
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He had a ton of paper work to do. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t budget. So he decided to work it out with a pencil.
How does an accountant stay out of debt?
He learns to act his wage.
This meme from Roger CPA Review pretty much sums it up..